Stop Asking “How?”

By Toku

90% of the questions I get from coaches is about how to do something. 


How do I price myself? 

How do I find clients? 

How do I sell better? 

How do I get better as a coach? 

How do I feel more confident? 

How do I handle it when they say they can’t afford it, when they don’t return my calls, when they want to quit?


The list is nearly endless. 

In some ways, “How do I…?”, is not a bad question. You need to learn about the art of coaching and the art of enrollment. Being curious about how to do these things and how to get better isn’t bad, but it’s also not what gets in the way of 90% of coaches.


The question that really matters is are you DOING IT? 


Are you giving people your price? 

Are you out there trying to find clients, connecting with people, and making introductions? 

Are you selling or practicing selling your coaching? Or even selling a podcast to people who might like it? 

Are you working to improve your coaching? Getting feedback? Studying other coaches? HELL are you coaching anyone right now? Even someone for free? 

Are you doing things that lead to confidence? Exercise? Eating good food? Acknowledging yourself for the things you’ve done well? 

Are you thinking about ways to handle those things when they come up? Are you looking at how you did it in the last call and how you might do it in the next call? 


Most times coaches AREN’T DOING IT. They are sitting around trying to figure out HOW TO DO IT!!!! And again, how is a fine question to ask, but only after you do the first part. 


If you’re out there trying stuff out and learning, asking how questions can help, and of course when you’re VERY new and getting started, having some how, will make it easier for you to take risks. 


The real problem is the trap of always asking how, HOW HOW HOW, instead of saying ok. I have a way I can try, I’ve seen one option. It may be scary. I might mess up, but I’m going to try. 


Staying in HOW keeps you safe, and it gives you the illusion that some way, out there offers a way to try something without the risk, fear, and self doubt. 


Do yourself a favor. Go do it. Embrace the fear and self doubt. You’ll get stronger and you’ll actually learn WAY more than asking will ever reveal. 


Here are 4 ways you can get started:


1) If you’re not currently coaching anyone, get a free client – 

This isn’t hard, just go into any coaching group and offer your coaching for free. A lot of people will say not to do this. YES if you only do this it’s a trap, don’t get stuck here, but coaches coach people. If you ain’t coaching, you ain’t a coach. So go do a trade with another coach, or get a free client. Practice and learn with them. 


2) If you’re not getting paid, charge something –

Once you’ve worked with a couple of free clients then charge something. It can be a dollar, or two. It can be $100 or $1000, just charge something. Be willing to have the conversation about investing money in your work with someone. It will teach you a lot. Even if you are only charging a dollar. 


3) If you’re not charging enough, raise your rates –

Do it on the next call. Double them. Or add a zero to them. Whatever you do, raise them. You’ll have to step up and have a different conversation, you’ll get scared, the person may be more likely to say no, that’s ok, just try it out. Notice what happens when you charge more and learn from it. 


4) If you’re not working with a coach, HIRE ONE!!!

Or choose another profession. There are CRAZY amounts of coaches with no coach. You can’t do it, I mean you can, but it’s like coaching with your head up your ass. Having a coach means you’re getting pushed, it means your work matters, it means you matter. It will make you a better coach, it will have you be accountable. It doesn’t have to break the bank, (though investment does matter) but no matter what, just have a friggin coach. 


All of these are ways to be able to say YES to the question “Are you doing it?” 


And what’s amazing to me is that for most coaches when they simply start, they start making it. They build their career into something incredible, they get clients, and they turn pro. 


The how helps, don’t get me wrong, but it doesn’t change lives. 


So go look yourself in the mirror and ask yourself, “Am I doing it?” 

And if the answer is NO then get started. The world needs incredible coaches like you. 




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