Generally, people won’t change until they are present to the cost of changing. We generally avoid being present to the cost, but when we become present and then choose the cost and the intention we are able to be responsible for both what we choose and what we are not choosing by choosing this.
In choosing to have children there is a cost of a non-child life. If you avoid that cost you can’t fully choose kids. But if you get present to the impact and choose anyway you choose more deeply. So with people who want to change, getting present to the cost and deciding what’s next is an incredibly important step in the process of change.